Why does the Tooth Fairy always get LOST?

“Why does the Tooth Fairy always get LOST?” complained #1 as she mournfully surveyed her tooth that still sat in a zip-lock bag on the sill of the kitchen sink.

At her outcry I leaned over to Wife and whispered into her ear, “When did she loose her tooth.”

I no longer felt quite as bad when Wife leaned back with a shrug, “Maybe a month ago.”

At least the couple that forgets together stays together.

In the mean time #1 continued her complaints. “I even put my tooth in a baggy so she would see it. Maybe I should write her a letter?” With renewed energy, she scampered off to write a really small letter to remind the Tooth Fairy that she was still there and so was her tooth.

I believe the fault of the late tooth recovery lies with the Tooth Fairy Union. With the bad economy the Fairy Union is facing furloughs throughout the county. Homes in the outlying country are finding their services are becoming spotty. Teeth are sitting on sills longer and longer before a certified Tooth Fairy makes the exchange of “tooth for cash.”

I have also heard rumors of the Union striking over the proposal of requiring Tooth Fairy Union members to pay for their heath insurance. The National Tooth Exchange rejected the Union proposal to pay for the health insurance out of the tooth exchange. In other words, the twenty-five cents per tooth rate would drop back down to the 1946 rate of five cents per tooth.

With the NTE and the TFU at a stand still, scabs have been hired to fill the Tooth Fairy holes. However, our experience shows that the elves are not nearly as thorough. They just keep getting distracted by shoe-makers and ring-lords.

But our children do adapt to the bad times we are in. They adapt so well in fact, that when the tooth was exchanged it took #1 three more days before she checked on her treasure. And that resulted in her nearly rushing in on my bath waving her quarter with a grin from ear to ear exclaiming, “She finally came! She finally came!”

If not for door locks, it would have been an embarrassing situation.