A Pinecone Parable

Nobody said parenting eight children was going to be easy. On the contrary, everybody seems to know that it is as difficult as uprooting a century old pine tree with a silver spoon. OK, it’s not that hard, however we do have to watch out for falling pinecones. Those cause a distraction every time.

Look ma!

Look ma!

One night, while I was bathing off the days grime from work, I heard an uproar start up with some of the children. I shook my head. There’s always a ruckus of some kind or another with so many, but I could hear Wife arriving on the scene and knew full well that she would take care of it.

I could hear something about #2 abusing #5. Likely he deserved whatever he got, however hitting is not tolerated; so Wife began to lay into #2 like a new ax into a sapling. But then a pinecone fell.

I hear #2 shout out, “Mom! Ah! There’s a…”

Wife screamed and I heard slapping at clothes followed by enthusiastic stomping.

“Wow mom, I saw…” #2 started.

I heard Wife cut her off with a sharp tone. “Next time you see a spider on my sweater, get it off! Don’t just stand there and point at it!”

“OK mom,” I heard #2 respond.

At that point the spider had effectively let the steam out of Wife. She scowled at the two children before her and dismissed them with a, “Now you two behave and play nice.”

This photo is a reenactment, minus the spider, as I was unable to convince Wife to hold still with it.

This photo is a reenactment, minus the spider, as I was unable to convince Wife to hold still with it.

When Wife walked into our bedroom she immediately took off her sweatshirt and shook it out hard enough to shake loose even the strongest of spiders. Then she hung it up, still wary about the ninja spiders that must have sewn themselves into the seams and were carefully waiting to surprise her. Well Wife could out last them.

Then I did a very foolish thing. I saw humor in her tragedy, and laughed.

Let’s just say that I was glad that there were no pinecones lying around.