The Mother-Block-Out Gene

Have you ever been convinced that your children’s ears were completely stopped up with wax, but when you checked you found that they were wide open? So you resort to yell at the child, “Why can’t you hear me?”

The child looked up at you dumbfounded and responded, “What?”not listening

Now if you multiply that by seven, you have my house. But, if you multiply by eight instead of seven, you have my Wife’s house. Apparently this unwanted attribute comes entirely from me.

Earlier, Wife shouted at #5 to come to her and put away the toy that she had picked up and was holding in her hand. On the second summons, the little boy tottered over and began his frustrated search for the said toy looking for it on the carpet. After circling twice, all the while whining, “I can’t see it. I can’t see it,” he finally heard his mother shouting that it was still in her hand. At that moment he was my son only, and Wife had nothing to do with his origins.

Unfortunately for me, I can’t argue very well that this hearing deficiency isn’t my fault. As a younger version of myself, I frequently was unable to hear my mother. It got so bad that at one point I was taken to get my hearing tested. It turned out I hear most every thing fine, except my mother. Now, to Wife’s chagrin, I have passed on this mother-block-out gene to at least six children. The baby is still too young to tell and we will see about the eighth.

But there is a good side to this coin; this gene does not affect every child equally. #1 seems to have had a lighter case, for she has been able to hear her mother more regularly. #2 on the other hand may have two of these genes, for she can’t hear her father either. You understand? There is a chance that some of my children might be normal.calls unheared

I’ve told Wife that it’s ok, just by having the children we’ll get revenge. The mother-block-out gene will pass from them to their children and you will be able to ‘I told you so’ with all with all the authority of a grandmother.

Wife said something to me after that, but I didn’t hear it.