Labor and Delivery

It never fails to amaze me just how doctors and hospitals are never on time for anything. Just wait and see.

Wife was scheduled to start her labor in the hospital at 7:00am; that means in the morning. Now, the hospital would not admit her until 12:00pm; that is in the afternoon. And the doctor could not get there to start labor until 3:00pm. With service like this I understand why so many people die in the hospital.

But the fun did not stop there. Before the doctor was in, the first nurse attempted to hook Wife up to an IV. Four holes on two different arms later she called on a second nurse. Two more holes later they called to the top anesthesiologist.

A little oriental man came into the room and began babbling as he took up Wife’s right arm. He talked about how thick her skin was, how hard it was for the needles to poke through, how her blood veins collapsed, how he was writing a book about it, how he was just joking, how much it was going to hurt, how, no, it’s all done. And then he left.

We then waited, Wife, her mother, her sister, and myself. So you guess who was the third wheel, I couldn’t figure it out.

When the doctor finally arrived, I thought I heard angels singing. When he pulled out the sonogram machine and confirmed the baby went sideways again, the singing stopped. COME ON! He already turned the kid twice, what is he doing? Back flips? Well, that’s why we went in to have the baby.

At about 3:00 pm the nurse started giving Wife the drug to induce labor. At about 4:00pm she stopped when they thought the baby had turned again. And then we waited until around 8:00pm. When the doctor came back and rechecked, guess what, everything was fine, back on the drugs. Then, I waited.

When my wife has an epidural there is not a lot of coaching for me to do. At that point I kinda feel like watching paint dry, not a lot to do, and not allowed to leave, God forbid!

The night did not progress, it crawled.

Around 11:00pm Wife was dilated to 3.

Around midnight she was at 4.

Around 1:00am she was back to 3.

Around 5:00am she was convinced she was never ever going to have this baby and he was going to live within her for the rest of her natural life on God’s green earth. She was at a 5.

At 9:00am she was at a 5.

At 11:30am she was at a 5.

At 12:30 the nurse said, “I’m going to get the doctor right now.” Then she muttered to herself, “I hope I can catch him before he starts that c-section.”

“Well, where is she?” I asked.

“Oh, she’s fully dilated.”

I jumped onto the phone to call my mom and have her, “get the kids down here right now.” They missed the birth by a half hour. My wife, my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law and myself were the only family to witness the brand new baby boy turn colors three times.

Baby #7. All clean and dry.