Political Negotiations

#9 had grown up enough to realize the effectiveness of speech. Like an effective politician, it took little time before he transferred from screaming and pointing, to pointing and demanding. “I aww… miwk!” Of course like some politicians, his oratory skills still have a long way to go.

Oh... hi

Oh… hi

But where he lacks finesse, he makes up with persistence. Here, let me show you.

If Wife did not respond to his request the first time, he simply assumed she did not understand. A slight tug on her pant leg to get her undivided attention. Then he would reassert, “I aww… miwk!

Wife’s response was a firm, no.

Just a refill

Just a refill

#9 huffed out his breath as if to say, “Oh no, you did not understand. All I need is a bottle full of milk.” And so he pointed and repeated his original statement.

“Not now,” Wife said.

#9 looked up, confusion etched on his face. He said, very slowly so he could be understood, “I… miwk.” And it was understood that he meant, “No-no, you’re not listening. Hear me out.”

When Wife shook her head, his brows furrowed. “Look here,” he seemed to say. “You clearly missed what I meant. I want you to open the fridge and refill my bottle.” and to punctuate his thoughts, he said, “I ahh… miwk. Ohh dere!”

Wife stopped her work at the sink. She turned her full attention on the toddler. “No milk,” she said. “No more bottles until bedtime.”

#9 scowled like Scrooge McDuck watching a silver dollar roll down a storm drain. The negotiations were taking longer than he wanted. As any politician understood, “no” meant ask for what you want in another way.

“Ahh… miwk?”

Unfortunately, altering his tone of voice may have meant a lot, but it had no more of the desired effect than campaigning on Christian values in a church of Satan.

At that point #9 was chased out of the kitchen. A wise or knowledgeable person would have stayed out, but toddlers are neither wise nor knowledgeable. Like a bad politician that will not stop running for office, he came back. “Miwk.”

I guess, toddlers really are like politicians. And some politicians are just like toddlers.

Ill fated negotiations

Ill fated negotiations

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